Which is cooler Bed Bugs or Dust Mites?

Gus Perkowski
   Just wanted to say what's happening to all the people on this beautiful November day. I was grabbing something in the mail bag and a rare letter directed to me as one of the regions most successful bug exterminator. Joe M in Mantoona wanted to know what is the difference between bed bugs and dust mites and can your body really be covered up with swells as recently seen in some Mike Tyson cartoon series on corporate cable television.
Ok first of all you shouldn't be watching Mike Tyson's ridiculous cartoons to begin with but I will leave that to Arnold Buckley who will soon dive into this topic. Dust mites don’t necessarily need humans to survive, therefore, they often live in mattresses, the carpet, furniture or bedding, whereas bed bugs need humans to survive and therefore live near the place humans sleep. Thus hence the name and bed bugs will wine and dine their girlfriends in your crackuses like your bunholes were Monte Carlo. Bed bugs need blood taken from warm-blooded hosts, according to the Center for Disese control. Dust Mites consume minute particles of organic matter. They eat food that has been already decomposed by fungi. bed Bugs take more of your blood and are obviously more easily to spot because they are much larger. bed Bugs are also more onerous to eradicate than Dust Mites that just need a little cleaning and fucking vacuuming to get rid.

 there are plenty of little critters living in your mattresses and if your anyone like our own writer Cecil Brewster who keeps one mattress throughout his lifetime you likely share your bed with a host of little tribes and nations. You should replace your mattresses once every five years and if you don't you are just opening up yourself to be devoured and have a whole set of new parasites nibbling away than the ones you already naturally develop. Both bites from these critters will have you itching and scratching your way to the telephone book to get an exterminator and in some cases maybe even to a doctor as was illustrated in this Mike Tyson's adventure series episode. I see a future cartoon series consisting of bed things coming up in the head of some TV producer. bed Bugs have to be cooler because they are harder to get rid of and can give exterminators much more of an annual income.