Randolph Perkins
We have the fortunate news to announce another addition to the Adopt a beast blog in are ever growing stock of writers and blogsters and Woody Underwood has been hired to write here. Woody brings years of dedicated social critic writings and blogging often amusing and trolling the websites of various left and right wing sites in his need for attention. Woody is from Woodstock Illinois which is best remembered for the Bill Murray movie Ground Hog day where it was filmed but Woody is no fan of bill Murray or celebrities in general.
What attracted this free agent to our blog was the numerous times Bill Murray has been bashed here and clearly Woody will write about both bill Murray and Woody Harrelson. the signing of Woody to the hugest contract yet on this blog has all of the other writers green with jealousy and many are threatening to walk out if their contracts are not renegotiated. Speaking of Woody he is no fan of that jackass or the TV show Cheers. Actually Woody Underwood is not his real name and he is a Ivan Bronavic.. or something a defector from the Russian sub although there are rumors he is a Russian spy actually sent here to settle in Illinois and to spy on Hillary Clinton in park Ridge,Illinois. Woody has hope for a rebirth of the Prussian Empire so he can work for three empires and get paid in a triangle ponzi scheme of government espionage industrial complex. Woody hates modern television shows and thinks most movies suck as Hollywood only picks actors and actresses by their ability to sleep with the producers. Woody Underwood also hates politicians of all stripes and is looking forward to ripping apart one or two in some future columns at this blog if he is able to get one across form the other numerous writers on this blog. Mr Underwood also takes pleasure in various hobbies including taunting civil war reenactors and stalking player in that woman soccer league. This blog looks forward to some of Woody's writings of which some in the past included how make your fart linger in workplaces and the merits of skipping bathroom necessities as it is unproductive and takes time away from thinking of the important business decisions that need to be taken daily for successful people. Woody Underwood is a legend with both mental and Physical handicaps and is thus then a perfect fit for either team Center Bear, team Left Shark, or team ahhh Right Bull
No comments:
Post a Comment