Arnold Armstrong
City crews went in and removed the embarrassing Rat Hole that for many was a pilgrimage and a urban oddity to celebrate and share. However, city officials and neighbors were annoyed by this and eventually the removal of a rat hole in Chicago has made news angering many people who considered a impression of a rat or a squirrel in a sidewalk cement as a cultural heritage monument on par with the Bean. Construction crews removed this rat hole and paved a fresh slab
of cement over it making sure that no animal dropped into it this time. The removal of the rat hole has upset many lunatic liberals in Chicago who thought that this was a special impression and that somehow having a hole of a rat in the city sidewalk was an important event and historical marker for the city. Needless to say many people have said to crying over their beloved and dead
impression of a rat that was essentially a hole and might have just been handcrafted and fake like everything else in Chicago and the world today. The future of this rat thole will be in some hipster bar or small ugly museum and people can look and pay tribute to this slab of cent that has the impression of a huge 12 pound rat
I have planned several times to actually grabbing a jackhammer in the middle of the night and ruining it just to make news and I suppose this removal now saves me the trouble and thought. The removal of the rat hole was one of the few things done things finally done right by the city of Chicago who have quickly moved after talking to the neighborhood to get rid of this eyesore. The urban absurdity of the rat hole no longer exists and the pilgrimage tributes and leaving of gifts will be in the Dustbin of Natural History
No comments:
Post a Comment