Herbert Gilbert
Animal Stories
In the slum dog slums of Gabon or Gambia or some unknown African shit hole country there is a hyena that is a local celebrity and Internet global sensation as this African dude named Isa Inglickitomvbo has captured apparently this one time wild beast and lock jawed the poor animal as this maniac in Africa is attempting to make a dog out of a wild animal as it must cost too much to breed dogs in this African shit hole country. Mr Inglickitomvbo's 'pet is the focus of this mans Instagram and Tik Tok videos being streamed and seen by some two billion
people around the world and we here at the Anti-pet association are horrified at the sight of this animal and the growing dogfication' of African wild dogs and hyenas as pets. We have issued a creed to the United Nations to set forth legislation outlawing the captivity of larger mammals such as Lions Tigers, Bears, and Hyenas as pets and oh my is this is fight we are going to strive especially against this huge YouTube social media idiot that keeps posting his enslaved Hyena and does so for attention and for his fellow Cameroonians to gawk and hawk some bomjoni drums and ugly
shirts for a selfie with the min-beast. The hyena is known as Smashmouth named after the popular American band in the nineties in addition to this Hyenas ability to crush coconuts from its owner to get some free labor selling coconut milk in the sides as a street vendor from hell and from Angola. We here at the Anti-Pet Association are furious that hyenas are being captured, beaten, starved,kicked, punched , slapped, and urinated on by Mr Inglickitomvbo. The Hyena in the city of Harar are hastily moving into a trust stage and most scientists say in one to two hundred years the hyenas in and around this city that has a unique relationship with hyenas as people feed them ill eventually see that Hyena become
domesticated and indistinguishable from dogs and become a new breed. We here at the Anti-Pet Association naturally seek your donations and resit this idea of making hyenas eventually becoming domesticated and a whole new breed or species that will be invented a new type of pet for humanity to toilet train and feed.
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