Zombie Coyotes roam all over Chicagoland

Jake Glass
   Many Chicago area communities and wildlife management forces are warning residents to be way of stray dogs roaming about and do not approach them. For these creatures are neither stray nor dogs but actually Wild E Coyotes infected with a Zika type mosquito virus that makes them sicker than a dog. These dogs are so gross looking many have taken to calling them zombie coyotes as thes manage-infected coyotes are at the brink of starvation unable to eat mealworms and baby birds.
Many people think these are feral dogs that somehow got messed up in a lawnmower and have taken to their nurturing pride and animal loving habits to feed these dogs some bones to chew on. However, authorities are warning people to keep themselves and their pets away from these wild crazed coyotes as one bite can make people more fucking ill and demented than a love bite form a Komodo Dragon. These coyotes are fucken in the head and pained in the gut and they are no laughing hyenas. These coyotes and their diseases are a threat to your pet cat,dogs, and hamsters and a culling of anything that looks ugly and a coyote needs to be initiated as soon as possible. Zombie Coyotes may indeed be evolving and turning other coyotes into these mini-beasts that are sicker than a door nail and their DNA is being spread and hammered into this species and before you know it there will be all these day-time hobits walking around on all fours gurgling for food and water.
People have helped these zombies by feeding it extra dog aplo chow but I say let these silly bastards eat grass and do ot help or approach the zombie wild coyotes that seem to be increasing with alarming frequency in the Chicago and Arizona corporate area. Speaking of these two regions bot of corporate Chicago's hockey teams are about to start season as the Black Hawks and the Coyotes hockey team createdfor Chicago hockey loving ex-pats in Arizona start another season in a few weeks as preseason is under way.

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