Famed rockstar surfer and international renown dude Nick Wapner was nearly killed by a left shark the other day as he was itching and snitching for some stitching. Wapner ventured way to far in sharkistan waters and nearly got his legs tore out of his fucking dude socket and survived a brutal left shark attack as he was surfing off the elite coast of Los Cosos,California and Mr Wapner said it all occurred very quickly as ahhh we imagine shark attacks usually do as there is no such thing as a slow motion instant replay type of shark attack. There is no doubt that Nick nearly losing his legs would have been pretty narly for him and he is most pissed off about damage to his Aloha surfboard that sent him back some bucks and he is in massive debt.The dude Wapner received a hundred and fifty stitches and is setting up a Go Fund me campaign to help pay his medical costs and help him purchase and replace his 2300 dollar custom surfboard. Wapner estimated the shark that attacked him was a Great White fucker that weighed some five tons and he is hoping to ride the storm and profit like crazy form this fish tale.
Wapner is lucky to be alive and not merged cells with this 3400 pound shark sea beast that takes no challengers and is scared of nada. Wapner is in such fucking debt that he is seeking to sell himself and his name as a surer rock star to help pay the debt he had already accumulated even before this shark attack that may or may not be real. Wapner is looking to hang ten real soon and ge tout of this nasty hospital with alot of really decreptive sick people and not cool dudes like himslef who fought off and survived a left shark attack. 
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