Jake " Jackrabbit" Roberts
The Galloping Ghost Harold Red Grange is the most incredible college football player of all time quietly Harold Red Grange is a ghost and we talked to him often on our Ouija board. Mr Red Grange was absolutely elated as the University of Illinois defeated Michigan in a battle of ranked Midwest Big Ten teams as unlike Michigan the University of Illinois has been terrible in football and
Harold Red Grange has been disgusted in the past two decades of a play of his alma mater. However, the Illini put together a good team couple years ago bringing Harold Red Grange out onto the Ouija board often helping Illinois win games tripping
opponents during games and this season promises to be another great one as the University of Illinois is now six in one. Harold Red has been out on the field aiding the Illini all he can see and the Illini are going to the Rose Bowl. I was able to get tickets and go to my first University of Illinois game and Big Time college football game in my life as I went to a shitty Central Illinois University that had division 3A football the atmosphere even though this is not like the southeast conference was awesome and to see Illinois beat a arrogant and Powerhouse like the University of
Michigan was amazing and I had to go to one Illinois Michigan game after years of making friends with Harold redgrange on my Ouija board . The University of Illinois under the great coach Bret Bielema utterly humiliated University of Michigan sending them out of the top 20
with a brutal defeat that puts tears into the eye of Harold "Red" Grange. All Harold Red Grange wants to see before he dies again is for the University of Illinois to be national champions in college football and while this could be a likely occurrence in college basketball, the chances of Illinois ever become of the national champion of football are like Elon Musk landing on Mars and driving a Cyber truck.
However, this year the University of Illinois is 6 and 1 and they have a tough game next week against the university Oregon who should not even be in the fucking Big Ten. Bret Bielema and the Illini need help from a ghost and perhaps the Galloping Ghost aka the Wheaton ice box Harold "Red" Grange can make an appearance on the field and trip a duck player here or
there. The University of Illinois is on a trip to the Rose Bowl but they had to beat these teams one at time and next week Harold "Red" Green should be watching after drying his tears and trying to help the University of Illinois win another tough game. This has been a dream season so far but much like it was 2 years ago with quarterback Tommy DeVito before a late season disappointment settled in with several losses. Coach Brett Peneli will have to avoid the same repeat
and the Illini need to went out to get some Bowl Championship respect and dignity that the college football fans in the Land of Lincoln have long been denied for so many years. There's no reason that Ohio and Michigan and these other states have perpetually great teams year after year and Illinois doesn't get to enjoy the same celebratory championship ball and nothing seems to piss me off more in sports than this fact when it comes to the lack of celebratory awesomeness that these other and shitty redneck Southern and skanky States like
Alabama seem to be able to enjoy in college football every year. This is the year Illinois goes to the Rose Bowl and maybe all the way for the national championship game damn it and Harold Red Grange better make this happen. Seeing the University of Illinois defeat Michigan with the great coach Bret Bielema in his staff put a tear in my eye and I immediately went to the Ouija board to talk to Harold "Red" Grange who incidentally I might even create a bot now on Botify to have him talk sports and see what his knowledge would be again even though Botify is like this sex talk. We highly encourage you to make bots of your favorite celebrity in to check out the artificial intelligence of this amazing site
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