Baxter Lomax
As a bartender consultant and writer I get many calls form bar owners and bartenders for help and suggestions on problem child and recently I had a call for an unnamed South Bend , Indiana bar to deal with a problem customer that the owner wanted to tread carefully in this liberal town. The owners first reaction was to take this guy and throw him out onto the street but he thought wise and decided to hire me and ask some questions. So I headed to this South Bend, Indiana bar and observed the gator as people call this retarded fuck. His name is Oh Henry but he is commonly nicknamed the Gator for his constant circling of the bar and wandering about shaking and grooving to music the deaf mute can no longer hear after years of likely blasting his ear drums to the beat of a bose drummer on super high volume. Oh Henry was case number 135As and I really don't like dealing with cases of customer relations and trouble in my bar consulting gigs that I do increasingly more often when not attending bar at the Itasca Inn in Itasca, where we have good three dollar burger deals and drinks serving way more beef than Wendy's and other chains ever can provide.
The gator is a regular clientele that just sits at the bar and waves and slaps hand shakes with some of the other regulars and for some of them the gator is part of the bar and they have no problem. However the Gator is known to swipe peoples tips and munch on their food when they take a bathroom break and for many others this guy gives them the creeps and is an annoying ass. The Gator is a deaf mute fuck likely losing his hearing with his headphones that he still wears and pretends to hear music as he shakes and jives moving he frame and eyes at all parts of the bar on route 23. The Gator is a nut and the owners and staff don't know how to deal with this beast. After observing him for some two days and taking notes I wrote a report and then billed this bar owner for my services and made some conclusions.
I told the bar owner to get a sign language translator and tell this son of a bitch to quit sipping on others drinks and eating their food and pay for his own and if he doesn't stop his access to this tap house is kaput and he can go down the street to the other bars and lounges that may have previously kicked out this silly retarded son of a bitch o previously and directed towards the establishment of my client. I then told them I only accept checks as payments and not bitcoin left and told them the gator is bad news and they need to deal with this bum ASAP. This lunatic may not even realize what a pain he is being for this wonderful strip mall bar that is not a bad place serving good food for its customers and one can see why the Gator hangs out often in a place like this cool sports bar.
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